Foreigner...(No...Not the Band!)

Yes Ladies and gentlemen... Boys and Girls... Animals(What!?! Babe(the pig) can talk! I'm sure she can READ too!!!)

My post today is about foreigners... Now, you must be thinking what the hell influenced me to write about this very overlooked topic... Well i am going to tell you... I remembered that ad i saw on TV a while back about WIMPY coffee's... You know, where the dude writes the names of the different kind of coffee's on the menu and sweet talks(actually more like tool talks, if you ask me!) his chick into some action by saying the names of the coffee's? Still nothing? Well, if this line doesn't jog your memory, than i give UP! It ends with the line: "Oh Henrrrry! I love it when you talk forrrreign!"

There we go! :-)... After having a decent laugh, i sat back and thought about this concept for a while and came to the conclusion that ALL chicks seem to like "forrreign"! YES! It's a phenomenon that i cannot explain, but chicks seem to dig dudes with accents'! EXAMPLE:

The guy can be talking about how paint dries... But if he be saying it with a little "espanhol" flair like this: "De whaait pint on dis waall will dry in theconds(seconds)"... Then chicks will be falling for this "paint job" like pet hair all over your couches!

Then you reckon, okay she digs a little "foreign" talk... What do you go and do... You try a "dab" of foreign yourself! Suddenly you FIND a lisp you never knew you had!... "Thweetheart, com an see de beautiful flowers i plant forrrr you!" You say! "Cut it out!" she replies quickly!Relieved that you can go back to your beer guzzling self you sit back and switch on your TV only to find some dude called "Juan Marco(a gardener) on a TV show about planting flowers to bring out inner peace within each one of us!" You laugh, thinking your significant other came to her senses after seeing you act "foreign" and look left only to find her "swooning" over "Juan Marco"!

So i conclude that chicks dig foreign dudes! The idea of MOVING just got more attractive!... I can go just about anywhere in the world(Except Portugal/Brazil) and call people "Como estas sacana!" at random and chicks will probably find it "cute"! Or i could go anywhere in the world(except here ofcourse!) and "gooi" my bad afrikaans around like litter by saying, "Ja julle BLIKSEMS!" And would probably be treated to some 5 star entertainment! :-)

Ciao. Stay tuned! :-)

PS- Just a thought: Do you think if SASQUATCH/SASKWATCH had a `e-spaneeshhh accent, he would suddenly become "popular" with the ladies... He would fit there "apparent" classic description... You know... He would be TALL... DARK & FORRREIGN(which for them is handsome!)

JOKING! :-)

This weekend

I went to a friends' birthday party this weekend, the theme for the party was "The Playboy Mansion"...

So, because i was driving i told myself that i was going to practice self-control and not get drunk! But like most goals in life, you need patience and you need to work hard!... How does that saying go?..."Practice makes perfect"?... Well, i guess i will just have to keep trying... Better luck next time??? Yes, i got rancidly drunk and my friends carried me to my car and drove me home!(Thanks Guys!)

It was a really cool party! Enjoyed it immensely... yes , yes even the part when i ended up flat on my back on the soccer field looking at the "spinning" stars! What i did not enjoy was waking up this morning to the sound of a "KORN concert"going on in my head!

So that is the some what short story of my weekend... Now please excuse me, while i go take care of the remainder of the hangover that is lingering somewhere in my body... Plus tomorrow is that dreaded day and the fact that it comes "suited" as a public holiday doesn't change the fact that it is a MONDAY!!!

Ciao... Please stay tuned! :-)

PS: I really didn't FALL... I really was DROPPED!!! ;-)

The mail man... R18!

Goodevening my beloved readers, thank you for taking the time to come here and read my blog, who by the way has finally warmed to me again... I guess i just know how to press "her" buttons...

I bring forth a story today, enjoy... Well, try to atleast...

He walked down the street, leaving a trail of smoke behind him like a chimney on that cold subzero morning, he smiled with relief as he saw that the house where he stopped was his last one for the day... he took a good look at it... White picket fence, perfectly groomed garden complete with water feature & a couple of garden chairs with a table to complete the story book look... He crept through the gate, tippy-toeing through the lawn to arrive at the solid oak front door...KNOCK KNOCK... Taking a deep breath as he waited for someone to answer...

"Hello there son... How can i help!?" Came the voice of a large old man booming from behind the door, dressed in a purple robe. "Hello sir, just came to give you your mail." The young lad answered. "Oh, thank you!" The oldman replied. "I would love to stay and chat... but i have to go feed my dog, P****Y." He continued. "Erm...Excuse me?" The young mailman asked, almost choking. "Yip, have to go feed my dog P***Y." The oldman repeated. "See you around kid!" He continued before closing the door on the young mailman.

As the young lad walked through the oldman's garden, he laughed, whispering to himself..."Damn! I wish i was his dog..." Just before getting out of the gate, he paused because he heard the oldman's dog barking... "yeah, i would bark happily to if i was getting fed..." he said, just before turning around... He smiled happily and walked out the gate and into the icy realm that enveloped him, the image of what he saw stuck in his brain... He saw the oldman bent down, filling the dogs' bowl with dry pellets. The dog leapt out of his kennel, which had a sign on it saying:"P***Y... MAN'S BEST FRIEND"... As the dog ate merrily, he petted him gently saying "Thats a goodboy... Thats a good P***Y!" :-)

Well goodnight and till next time... Stay tuned... Ciao! :-)

Hey there...

Honey i am so sorry i left without telling you and i'm so sorry i stayed away for so long, but it just made me realise how much you mean to me... Oh, HI! Sorry, didn't realise you were sitting there watching us have our "moment"... STALKER! :)

Yeah my blog is pretty ticked off with me right now, she threatened to sue me for negligence... So i am doing the mercy dance and trying my best to get back on my blog's "good books"... Wish me luck... In the meantime though....

It feels AWESOME to be back here!(apart from all the dust...Which i suppose just happens when you abstain for too long, yeah?)... So you must be thinking, after such a LENGTHY absense... He must have some GREAT stories to tell... Yeah? Well sorry to be as disappointing as "crabs" on your first night "out", but i seriously don't have much to say other than the fact that i have been watching triple the amount of TV that i use to watch before!

Which is awesome because i have stumbled onto some high quality excellent shows like : The OC, Chuck and How I Met Your Mother... Among others!

In approximately 45 minutes that stupid slut Monday will be making her grand entry, so i think it will be best if i go to bed now, lock the door and gather enough ZZZ's for tomorrow's epic battle but i got a feeling that i will be battling in vain! :-)

Please Stay tuned... I promise to be a good boy and stay this time!

Ciao!