Hey there ALL! i tonight take a trip down memory lane, back to a time where when everyone else was learning how to ride bike... I obviously was not around!(Don't ask me where i was because i seriously don't know!)
Yes i confess with not even a pinch of regret that i DO NOT know how to ride a bike! Yes i know it is super wierd that i know how to drive a car but cannot ride a bike... Can you imagine riding a bike drunk!?(For the record- I Can't!)... But im sure it is way more dangerous than driving drunk!(Probably not as expensive though, if you look at the fines nowadays!)
Bikes and I are like Wine and I... We just don't SEE eye to eye! You see the first time we were introduced to eachother was just a disaster which ended with me on the floor...(Just like when I met WINE!)... You know they say "never give up", well i have some words of "wisdom" to add to these words when it comes to learning how to ride a bike, i say "Never give up... Until you have run out of kneecap skin!"...(Sorry for opening my record again, but i have to add here...For the record- I will be willing to give WINE a second chance though!)
Let me tell you about the first time i tried to ride a bike, you see before this fateful day i would happily watch all other kids from outside my window fall on their asses, but this particular day was different, noone was falling!.. Their asses were perfectly perched on the bicycle seats and they were riding around like swans in my front yard so elegantly! I spotted one of my friends and decided to take a walk outside to "swan park"... I asked him if he could teach me how to ride a bike, being the good friend he is, he said "sure!"... So there i was suddenly on his bike... "Don't look down... Only straight... And try keep your balance!" He instructed... The bike must have been"out of breath" from the "foreign" ass that was trying to get comfortable on it because it tossed me right off, sending me to the eagerly awaiting tar road infront...So explosive and intimate was my "affair" with the tar road that instead of leaving my "heart" behind to it, i left pieces of my KNEES to it in "appreciation"!(sorry if i gave you visuals!)
Fighting back tears, i left limping straight back to the safety of my bedroom where there was no TAR in sight! That day i made a decision to NEVER climb onto a bike ever AGAIN! I haven't changed my mind since...
To this day i STILL don't know how to ride a bike, i believe bike riding is only for the talented few(of which i am not one of!) i will drive it's okay! But enjoy your bikes fully, it sure looks like fun!... :)... Ps) Do you think if i sue the minister of Roads and Transport, i will get those pieces of my KNEES back? Hmm... I wonder? :)
Stay tuned... Ciao :)
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