I discovered today that I live right next door to the Playboy Mansion! My neighbour is an aspiring Hugh Hefner (with very disturbing taste I might add!)
About two months ago my neighbour met Anna, our house cleaner, for the first time and it was love at first sight! He was absolutely besotted with her, he didn't wait to make his move (he must have known that time wasn't exactly on his side!) he spotted her outside alone and went in for the "kill"... he made some small talk, like asking her name and all that shite but then he didn't bother to pepper her up with compliments and cut right to the chase... Offering her 200 bucks to go to his bedroom... I'm not sure, but I reckon he needed her to Spit Shine alot more than just his bedposts! She was fucking appauled by his suggestion and told him to take a hike, adding that she wasn't some call girl that he could pay for afew minutes of Slap n Tickle & marched into the house, leaving him there to wallow in his own dust! We thought it would end there...
Today however, he launched Round 2 of mission "Nail Anna"... he was watching her from his window and must have been seriously turned on by her rather large gyrating ass which moved in sync with her arm as she wiped the outside windows... He must have been extremely hot under the collar because what he done next is beyond all human understanding... He stripped down into his somewhat "worn out" birthday suit and started fiddling around with his "rumble pack"!(No doubt looking for the START button...) He must have thought he would be coming on a little too "strong" if he shouted out her name while doing his "prep" and opted to whistle instead, hoping that she would be even more impressed by what he could do with both his hands and his mouth!... She wasn't... Whatever it was she saw scared the fuck out of her because she ran into the house SCREAMING like a demented person! My mom went outside to see what all the commotion was about and imitated Anna sans the screaming though and was laughing instead! So the dude had a REALLY good DARK COMEDY going on there! Afterwards they told him his strip tease was too good to be enjoyed only by two people alone and insisted on calling the cops... He quite hastily chickened out then... Poor Guy... Had a sudden case of Stage fright and ran away!
Note to all: When buying a house always check if your neighbours have curtains on their big windows... Because if they think curtains cramp their style... It could mean something much more explicit... Be careful... Unless she's a hot blonde/brunette! ;-)
Ciao. Stay Tuned
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