Friday drill

Oh my weekend started off promising indeed... my mom woke me up and said eleven words that just shattered my day..."Oh yes, the dentist phoned, your appointmen is at eight today!" (Told you it was 11, I know you counted!)

I hate going to dentists... Always have since way before I sprouted pubes and after watching that horror movie by the same name, my fears have just exasperated! As I walked in to the reception area, my heart began to race... I wasn't going in for any complicated procedures, it was just for a little "spring cleaning" but I couldn't help it... You know how normally in movies secretaries are these gorgeous girls with the most incredible racks!? Well, even that part of this experience wasn't going my way... She was friendly, but WAY past the 35 mark to provide any kind of comfort!

So I sat down on that dreaded chair, it looks comfortable until you're in it... Then you realise just how badly looks can deceive! So as the Dr. lowers the "torture chair" he makes "small talk" with you, as if you guys are going on some kind of "date"...."How are you?" "Fine." You say with a smile, but in the back of your mind you are thinking "How the F**K do you think i'm feeling knowing that you are about to probe my largest cavity!?" Then come the more technical questions..."What can I do for you today? When was the last time you were here?" You talk sh*t by telling him you can't remember, but actually you know all too well that the last time you were there, you were still a virgin!

Then he starts pulling out these outrageous looking instruments that sound very painful... I know that dentists sterilise all their sh*t but I just can't shake this f***ing thought while the dentist gives his "undivided" attention to my teeth... Where were those instruments before they landed up HERE!? In who's mouth were they!? You wouldn't share forks or spoons with that "dodgy" looking dude who you smell before you can even see right? Well for all you know you could be sharing dental utensils with that dude! See what I mean? But noone else dies from it so why should you!? No worries!

He eventually finishes his job, much to your relief, then he advises you on how to brush your teeth properly and tells you to floss etc... You agree, even though you know you won't do it!

Got to go back in about six months "apparently" just for a "check up"... Once again I agreed, but we'll see!

Ciao. Stay tuned. :-)