Sensitivity

Girls apparently like sensitive guys.... I am just generalising here... Shit, I've only been married once, so how the fuck should I know!?

But that is the general idea! Right!?(That was a rhetorical question, please don't correct me if I am wrong! Thanks...) Well if there is any morsel of truth in that apparent theory, then shit I have to go out tonight and totally get laid somewhere because right now I am the most sensitive guy I know right now!(I had to say "right now" twice to just emphasize the fact!;)

I got out of the shower and almost cried! Watching the soap wash away into the drain... Earlier on I got my ass kicked by my 8 year old nephew with his 4 year old brother! The odds were against me, it was two on one! My finger tips are screaming for mercy as I type this blogpost! I think if I have to watch a sunset or sunrise I will die! How the hell can you stand or sit outside in the gale force winds when you have a flu the size of the great wall of China lurking inside you!?!

Yes my heightened sense of fragility is due to a flu that stole what was left of my manliness a couple of hours ago and has left me more sensitive than a cock head... NOW that is sensitive!

I hate flu, it makes you cough as if you have been ODing on nicotine since before you started shaving! You sneeze so many times people around you get tired of "blessing you" and you start humming to the tune of your after sneeze sound effect! HAAACHOOOWEEE!!! You go through toilet paper as if it's beer, which makes your nose so red it glows in the fucking dark!!!

But the worst thing about a flu is how damn sensitive you get! The slightest touch to your body can send you wriggling and shaking in pain as if you were in a stampede! It sucks! So guys if your chicks ever mention that you are not sensitive enough, do yourselves a favour, book a holiday with her to the coldest place you know, when you arrive, on the very first NIGHT(Very NB detail!) put on your swim suit... Actually no... Just go in your birthday suit to the BEACH!... take a swim... Just before hypothermia sets in, get out and pull out suntan lotion and ask her to rub it all over your body, then just lie there till the wind dries up the lotion... If you are still alive after all this and are worried that you look like a gigantic raisin... No worries, it's part of the plan!

I can almost guaranfuckentee you that she will be so fed up with having to take care of your frail, sensitive body that if she doesn't dump your stupid ass, she will love you more and more everytime you force her to watch ESPN with you! She will even give you service with a smile when you force her to get up every five minutes to"Bitch, get me another beer!" (PS: This blogpost was inspired by WWE- Please don't try this at home!) ;-)

Ciao. Thank you all. Please Stay Tuned! :-)